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florianschildTake any given character. We go with Arya as an example:
Book 1: “Wow, Arya is cool. I can’t wait to see her turn into a bad ass woman warrior…. aww shit, her dad is dead. That sucks.”
Book 2: “Ok, well at least Arya is on her way to the Wall. She can see her brother, Jon! … oh, never mind.”
Book 3: “Well hey, she’s in the Riverlands! That’s where Robb and Catelyn are! She’ll meet up with them and it will be great! …oh god…”
Book 3.5: “Ookaaay. Well. At least Arya is with the Hound. She’ll see that he’s actually a good guy and they’ll become friends. He’ll help her take revenge on all the people who wronged her family. …or she’ll just leave him to die under a tree. Fuck.
Book 4: “Well, now she’s finally liberated herself from everyone who has had power over her throughout the books. I’m sure we’ll see her find her way home now… or she’ll just leave the goddamn continent and hand her autonomy over to some total stranger.”
Book 5: “Maybe this isn’t so bad. Arya’s learning how to be an assassin. That’s pretty nea-CLIFFHANGER!
Once, just once, I want one of these huge cathartic moments that are set up to actually occur.
Bonus: You can try substituting in almost any character, allowing for differences in what book they are introduced and, of course, when they inevitably die. It’s fun. It’s like a game. A really frustrating game.
Book 1: “Wow, Arya is cool. I can’t wait to see her turn into a bad ass woman warrior…. aww shit, her dad is dead. That sucks.”
Book 2: “Ok, well at least Arya is on her way to the Wall. She can see her brother, Jon! … oh, never mind.”
Book 3: “Well hey, she’s in the Riverlands! That’s where Robb and Catelyn are! She’ll meet up with them and it will be great! …oh god…”
Book 3.5: “Ookaaay. Well. At least Arya is with the Hound. She’ll see that he’s actually a good guy and they’ll become friends. He’ll help her take revenge on all the people who wronged her family. …or she’ll just leave him to die under a tree. Fuck.
Book 4: “Well, now she’s finally liberated herself from everyone who has had power over her throughout the books. I’m sure we’ll see her find her way home now… or she’ll just leave the goddamn continent and hand her autonomy over to some total stranger.”
Book 5: “Maybe this isn’t so bad. Arya’s learning how to be an assassin. That’s pretty nea-CLIFFHANGER!
Once, just once, I want one of these huge cathartic moments that are set up to actually occur.
Bonus: You can try substituting in almost any character, allowing for differences in what book they are introduced and, of course, when they inevitably die. It’s fun. It’s like a game. A really frustrating game.
