My Piece of the Internet

The sewing bug bit me last week and now I'm dying to get a few projects started! I have plans/tentative starts on a few things and I wanted to catalog them to set some goals for myself:

1. Sew a pair of summer shorts for my toddler. I've downloaded and printed this pattern. It looks super easy so if these fit well I might try to make a few. I'm most interested in finishing this because I think it will be pretty easy and quick AND I truly do need shorts for my daughter. So it's this or buy some. I bought slightly less than a yard of vintage Mickey Mouse fabric that I was thinking of using, but the print is very big and widely spaced so I'm a little worried it's going to be like... half of Mickey's face on each buttcheek. XD I'll lay the pattern out on the fabric and see how it looks.

2. Sew a party dress for my toddler's birthday party (which is in a little over a month). I got the cutest vintage panel from Jelly Bean Junction that has a bodice design printed and laid out on the fabric so I just need to measure her and determine her size, cut the fabric, make a corresponding skirt, and do the sewing/construction. I bought the panel at a local fabric store, but you can see (or buy) it here if you're interested.

3. Sew a Petal Wrap Dress.

4. Make a matching Lorien Lace Up Skirt for myself. (I bought a set of king-size bed sheets that would be great for a matching set.)

5. Sew this Halter Top, probably in white linen. I bought this pattern years ago and never got around to starting it.

6. Sew some heating pads out of a few vintage pillowcases I bought. I want to try sewing some channels in them and make a kind of "seat cushion/lap cover" style of heating pad. I like to put flax seeds in mine. I read a lot about the different options for filling at some point and flax seemed like the best.

And that's it so far. At some point though I need to start thinking about a quilt for my toddler. She's still in a sleep sack so she doesn't need blankets, but time is ticking! I've made quilts for two other babies so I don't want my own kid to be the one who doesn't get one!

Challenge:

Choose 20 books that have stayed with you or influenced you. One book per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanations, no reviews, just covers.

I'm trying to finish this before the end of Three Weeks for Dreamwidth so we're going for 5 books a day for four days.

Books eleven through fifteen:


Green/blue color group today!

Previous - Part 2
Next - Part 4

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post about the Sunshine Challenge. I got a lot of positive feedback so I decided to go forward with a revival of the concept.

I created sunshine_revival since the old community is not open for posting and the mod is inactive. I hope we can spread the word far and wide enough to get a good turnout. If you're interested in modding, but sure to request membership at sunshine_revival_mods and I'll get you in!

Read more and follow the new community!



<a href="https://sunshine-revival.dreamwidth.org/"><img src="https://images.squidge.org/images/2025/05/09/Sunshine-Revival-2025-Banner-1.png" alt="Sunshine-Revival-2025-Banner-1.png" border="0"></a>

I believe the mod of sunshine_challenge is inactive. It looks like the comm hasn't updated since 2023. Does anyone know if the challenge is still hosted elsewhere? Or, if not, would people be interested in a reboot? I loved modding the Snowflake Challenge so much, I'd consider picking up the Sunshine Challenge too!

3weeks4dreamwidth is celebrating Dreamwidth's anniversary!
Come join in for fun, memes, activities, and more ♥

It's here and I'm pumped! I want to try and post... frequently? I would love to post every day but realistically I probably can't keep up a schedule like that.

Today, since I'm a little late getting started, I'm going to kick off by briefly answering one of the questions from ysabetwordsmith's 2024 list of questions:

If you could have the attention of the world for one minute, what would you say?

Having the attention of the world for one minute is an interesting concept. I guess it means that people will listen to what you're saying for one minute, but it doesn't mean they will care or internalize it or even remember it after you've had your time. There are plenty of things I have paid attention to but disagreed with or disregarded. So I think the best strategy would be to use my one minute to pique enough interest that some subset of people might be willing to pay attention to me on a long-term basis. I'd probably say something like:

"Why are you spending your time on bullshit that doesn't matter to you? Time is your only finite resource. You can theoretically acquire anything else that exists on earth, but neither you nor anyone else can ever buy or make additional years of lifespan. When you realize that your time is precious you begin to find ways to steal it back from the systems that try to own you and your time. Less working, more living. Fewer obligations, more community."

This is Part 2 of 2 offering some examples of books containing angst that "worked" for me. These aren't summaries, they're just brief descriptions of some of the tropes and themes that I found angsty and satisfying. Part 1 with the first three books is here.

Dragon's Winter by Elizabeth A. Lynn
A lot of psychological angst dealing with guilt and questions of loyalty and personal identity. Karadur struggles with the idea of loving people who have betrayed him; Azil struggles with guilt while hiding his physical and emotional pain from Karadur. Azil also deals with his identity as a harpist after his hands are badly damaged. The way that Lynn writes is so sparse, it leaves a lot of room for the reader's own interpretation to be fitted in between what is said (and of course MY mind is going to interpret the maximum amount of angst possible). There are themes of imprisonment as well.

Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat
Book 1 angst was all James for me: magical healing is a trope that just invites the character to be heavily tortured and everyone around them takes their suffering for granted because… "eh, they'll heal". Then the aspect of the collar added a level of restricted freedom, coercion, and humiliation to James' whole situation that I found really satisfyingly angsty.

Book two brought Will angst to the table. I won't go into spoilers, but his backstory got dark *quick* and then the coup de grace at the end was great. I like when sad characters get a tiny glimmer of hope and happiness and then have it all dashed in one dramatic rug-pull.

Some additional themes that I think added to the angst are the question of fate/pre-destination, social rejection, and objectification (in particular of James, seeing him as a powerful tool instead of a person).

The Queen of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner
It's almost impossible to discuss the angst/whump in this series without spoilers but I'll try to be as vague as possible. There are characters who are incredibly devoted to their chosen leaders and willing to risk anything to serve them and their interests. When a character suffers because of devotion to another, that seems to be a big angst trigger for me. I also love hyper-competent characters, which we get a LOT of in this series. There are also themes in the series about restricted freedom, but in this case it's due more to circumstances of birth and a sense of duty than being physically imprisoned, although there is that too.

I've got a ton more angst books that I could analyze but I think this is a good starting point. Next post will be about books that DIDN'T tickle my id, despite looking on paper like they should.

Welcome to my Fannish 50! The theme of my series is called "What Tickles My Id" but you could also think of it as an investigation into writing strong angst and hurt/comfort in fiction (both publishing and fan works) and why it sometimes works for me and sometimes doesn't. This is going to be very much a personal take on angst; it's going to be what tickles MY id. I recognize that many people undoubtedly feel differently about pretty much all the opinions I'm going to express. That's why I want to take the opportunity, in this post, to level set by defining some terms and introducing what I'm going to be talking about.

Everything I write about in this series is my opinion. If I say something that sounds like a crazy generalization, please feel free to mentally append "for me" to the beginning of any sentence. It will save me having to repeatedly type it out. But yes, the global caveat, here it is: this is all IMO.

I've struggling with exactly *what* I want to examine in this series, but I kind of envision it as an exercise in close reading and analysis to figure out why a scene written by one author can provoke an intense emotional reaction from me when another very similar scene leaves me cold. I'm hoping that by teasing out the nuances in the writing, maybe I can take away some lessons on how to write emotional, intense angst that is something that I, as a reader, would enjoy. And maybe I'll also be better able to identify what will/won't work for me as a reader so I can find more angsty faves!

One thing I want to clear up for myself is my terminology. I tend to say that I enjoy "angst" fiction but there's more to it than just being angsty. It has to be emotionally powerful.

When I'm reading discussions around these topics I hear the term "angst", sometimes I hear "hurt/comfort", and sometimes I hear "whump". None of the terms on their own is enough to convey exactly what I'm looking for as a reader. Angst probably comes the closest because of the three I think it implies the most psychological suffering, which is an important component (I'll be diving into that a lot I imagine). But angst is subjective. What is angsty to one person, another might not even notice.

Hurt/comfort is a popular tag and many works I enjoy get tagged as hurt/comfort. But hurt/comfort can be so broad of a term and it's often the case that the comfort side of the equation is given a lot more significance than the hurt. And even with tags like "hurt, no comfort" I find that it's often about the MC being physically harmed. Which can be angsty, but isn't always. Whump is another term like "hurt, no comfort" but I see whump used a lot more in TV fandoms than in book fandoms. Also, for no logical reason I'm aesthetically opposed to the word whump lol.

So if none of these terms is perfectly accurate, what exactly AM I trying to write about in this series? It's hard to put a finger on, to be honest. But I know it when I feel it because it's a literal physical feeling that I get when I read the exact right combination of words at the exact right moment in the exact right frame of mind. The bottom of my stomach drops out and my head gets fuzzy. The blood drains from my face. I suspect it's some kind of empathy response because I get a really similar feeling when I look at another person's wound. It's most similar to the feeling of a roller coaster going down a big hill.

So I guess that's it. I want more stomach-dropping, deep, dark angst fiction, and this series is going to analyze where that feeling comes from so that I can hopefully find more and maybe someday write some into existence for others.

I guess it is probably prudent to also warn that I will be discussing dark topics in this series. If you're not into that, no hard feelings. I will put all spoilers and triggering content under a cut!

Keep Reading - Part 2

Challenge #14

In your own space, create your own fandom challenge. Post your answer to today’s challenge in your own space and leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

My challenge is called "Raise Your Ratio".

On your Dreamwidth profile there is a statistic:



Comments posted and comments received. If you divide these numbers, you get a ratio. I've posted 557 comments and received 605 comments so my ratio is .92. The aim of this challenge is to raise your ratio. My personal goal is to get above 1. But maybe your ratio is already above 1 so your goal is to get to 1.4 or 2. Or maybe you're a super popular blogger with an active comments section so your ratio is .25 - maybe then your goal is to get to .3. Whatever you want your goal to be is great, as long as you're raising your ratio of comments posted/comments received. So go make some friends and leave them some comments!

I'm excited to be participating in comment_bingo. One of my goals this year is to be more engaged with the works I'm reading and reviewing is a great way to do that.

(I did actually remove one prompt that I was assigned, which was "leave a comment on twitter" because: fuck no. I swapped it out by picking a random number and going with that prompt from the list.)

( See my unfilled card! )

Did I mention that I like Dark themes and Angst? Well if I haven’t proven that yet, we’re going there today! Also note, this post will contain spoilers for some of the books mentioned (particularly The Song of Achilles). Also, as a self-proclaimed trope lover I had to cheat a bit. I did my top 5 tropes instead of just one.

How We Got Here

As seen in: Half Bad by Sally Green

This trope is one of my favorites. You start at the end of the story and give a weird, tantalizing situation. Then the rest of the book is explaining how you got to that point. It’s popular in movies (Deadpool) and television (the first episode of Breaking Bad), but I also love when it’s used in books. It’s basically a way of working in extensive backstory and flashbacks, which I usually love.

Half Bad starts with teenaged Nathan in a really brutal situation: kept outside in cage, manacled, and forced to train by Celia. When he tries to escape, the manacle on his wrist releases acid that melts his skin to the bone. He’s doing his best to cope with the abuse, using his “trick” of not caring about anything (dissociating, basically). And then suddenly the first section is over and we get to see exactly what led to this messed up situation in the first place.

Undying Loyalty

A seen in: Dragon’s Winter by Elizabeth A. Lynn

I love books where the primary ship is solidified before we even meet them, or at least where the couple gets together early. I love seeing the love and the bond between characters tested by hardship, especially when they are deeply devoted to one another.

One of my favorite examples of this trope is Dragon’s Winter, because we start out with Azil and Karadur already as friends and lovers, but then we get to move forward in time to after Azil has unwittingly betrayed Karadur, been kidnapped, tortured, and finally returned. To see their love survive that kind of test is so beautiful!

Despair Event Horizon

As seen in: The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

This is a very specific and weird trope that I love, but it’s basically when a character has a complete and total breakdown after having something really horrible happen to them. Specifically I love it when they just absolutely lose their shit when their partner or lover dies. I love happy endings, but if I’m in the mood for tragedy I want balls-to-the-walls, no-coming-back-from-this-shit kind of tragedy.

Which is exactly why I love The Song of Achilles so much. After Patroclus is killed, Achilles loses his fucking mind. It’s not healthy to give up on life after a partner dies, but this is fiction and, for me, this is the just so damn romantic.

Break the Cutie

As seen in: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

Break the cutie is a great trope, because it takes a character who is defined by their positive aspects and allows the stark contrast between their optimism and the gritty reality of the world to come into conflict.

Hunger Games is a great example of Breaking the Cutie, especially when it comes to the character of Peeta. There’s a lot to complain about with The Hunger Games, but one thing I think it did really well was being super mean to Peeta. If you like books that heap suffering on your favorite characters, The Hunger Games is where it’s at.

Also seen in: Halfway Human by Carolyn Ives Gilman

If you're not familiar with this book, check out my fandom promo for it!

Tedla's story is particularly sad because we see how idealistic and sweet they were as a child. Getting to know the thoughtful, loving, kind-hearted child version of Tedla via flashback does make the jolt back to present day Tedla exquisitely painful to experience. The way that Gilman writes a traumatized character - quiet and withdrawn, intelligent yet full of self-doubt, wise but wary, self-deprecating as a defense mechanism - it all the more poignant when we know how it all came to be.

Food Porn

As seen in: Redwall by Brian Jacques

What’s not to enjoy about authors lovingly describing plate after plate of savory, juicy, ripe, tender, roasted, sizzling, candied, overflowing… everything. Food porn is just fun and it’s a great way to do world-building.

I love food porn in general, but as a vegan the feasts at Redwall Abbey have stood the test of time for me as a food porn favorite. Brian Jacques makes vegetables sound so damn delicious. I loved this series as a child and to this day I fondly remember learning how to bake scones to pass out in elementary school while I presented my book report on Redwall.